Tube Etiquette: to huff or not to huff?

I was on the tube this morning with the undoubted bonus of a seat which I settled into gratefully and started reading my paper.

Three stops into my journey the carriage became rather packed and I, being the good tube etiquette civilian that I am, checked there were no pregnant ladies or elderly people in need of a seat before, satisfied, I settled back into my paper.

What I didn’t bargain for was the lady with the biggest and surely the heaviest bag in the world using my shoulder as a resting place. 

I debated for a good five minutes what the right etiquette was for me to point out that this was neither comfortable nor acceptable.

I considered a well timed and audible huff and puff to see if she’d get the message but I discounted this on the basis that when other people do this it is annoying in itself.

I then imagined scenarios in my head where I said something to her in all varying degrees from politeness to sarcastic starting with ‘excuse me, I’m terribly sorry but your bag appears to be causing me some discomfort’ to ‘do I look like a bag rack to you’ but discounted them both – the first because it wasn’t strong enough and I’d leave myself open to bullying, quite possibly resulting in me losing my own seat; the second because the lady could actually agree that I did resemble a bag rack.

Eventually I decided that I would gently move the offending article which meant I would say nothing, avoid confrontation and let the lady know at the same time that it wasn’t the best arrangement for me and her bag. 

I very gently pushed the bag slightly away from me. But the damage was done. I was met with a hostile ‘calm down love it’s only a bag init, jeez’.

I must confess I had no idea how to answer that one without debating how heavy the bag was with her and asking her to take my place to see how annoying it was if the roles were reversed.

I confess I wish I’d done nothing now. And that’s what I did for the rest of the journey, nothing, complete with heavy bag on slightly aching shoulder.

Having a seat isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.