The LIttle Book of Tube Etiquette: observations of a very hot and humid week

I try to avoid the London Underground wherever possible, particularly when it's as hot and clammy as it has been of late. Whether it's rainy or not, I'll try and walk to work from London Bridge overground.

When, however, I have to get to the West End and I dont have the ability to get a taxi or walk in time and all other transport options have failed me, I do surrender and hop on the central line towards the West.

And it is here that I witnessed some very disturbing things this past hot and humid week:

1. Woman sitting opposite me without underwear on (quite clearly). Yes it is hot but there is simply no excuse - you are not Sharon Stone, believe me.

2. Man eating some sort of stew in rush hour. Firstly how do you stomach hot stew in this weather and secondly, and most importantly, it is pretty disgusting at the best of times eating even a snack on the hot smelly sticky tube, but in 100 degree heat and shovelling down a full dinner? I think not.

3. People with dogs. Dogs are meant to be walked not commuting and if you think you're hot rammed up against someone's stenchy armpit, then times it by 50 and you're probably close to what your supposed 'best friend' is feeling like right now. Dogs overheat much quicker than humans and the reason their tongues are lolling out and we can see clouds of heat coming off them isn't that they are in fine physical condition. Think twice and walk, that's what dogs like to do.

4. People in winter overcoats. I'm not sure why you are wearing a winter coat in this weather at all but it's certainly not a good idea to wait until you are on the train in a rammed carriage then decide to disenrobe while smacking everyone around you and huffing loudly that you're hot.

5. Public Displays of Affection. Wrong on our dirty and stinky tube carriages at the best of times but in this sort of wall of dense heat? Gross people, just gross.

Is it me or has the weather brought on silly season? It's hot, let's not make it worse for everyone else. 

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