I believe in tube karma...

As quotes of the week go, it was a winner. My husband, returning from a night out in London came home in rather a strop after his tube journey.

'You know it's going to be a nightmare journey when you can see the sweat stains on someone on the tube from the platform.' Classic.

As luck would have it, the only place available was standing right next to this person with his nose pressed against the offending armpit.

Disgusting, you might say. I'd agree. Particularly as said husband was carrying an enormous hangover whereby even the slightest stench could produce stomach-churning nausea.

However, knowing my husband as I do, I decided to question him on the rest of his journey.

I was right to do so. 

Before getting on this tube, he had begun his journey on another, less packed carriage where he was lucky to get a seat. Bearing in mind he had been drinking into the early hours of that morning, he was producing a stale alcohol stench eminating from his sweatpores. I can testify to this having smelt him the minute he walked into the house. Obviously, I sent him for a shower immediately. So I'm sure his own scent did not impress his own fellow travellers.

Not only this, it transpires that in his hungover state he had purchased 'the only thing drinkable on a hangover' - an orange Lucozade - and a newspaper.  Reading the newspaper on the tube, he felt dizzy and glugged his Lucozade before stupidly putting it down on the floor. 

Off it rolled down the carriage to the annoyance of the other passengers who apparently all death-stared him to retrieve it. Yet, in his hungover state, he merely left it rolling round the carriage bumping into everyone's feet.

My hot and bothered husband then broke a number of my tube etiquette rules by huffing and puffing continuously, fanning himself with the newspaper and fidgeting constantly - no doubt annoying everyone sitting around him.

So, to get back to my point - I believe in tube karma. My husband, having broken all these rules and annoyed everyone on the first tube, then found himself wedged up against a sweat-stained armpit on the second.

Judge for yourselves ladies and gentleman.