Train stalkers - they're here, they're there, they're lurking everywhere...

The last few months I have acquired my very own train stalker.

So I get my most regular morning train from Polegate to London Bridge at 7.23am (I say most regular as quite often it's the 6.33am or GASP, the 5.50am) and I have my routine: I read the paper the three stops to Plumpton and then get comfortable and sleep the rest of the journey.

The last three months however, one lady has single-handedly contravened this routine. On she gets at Plumpton, just when I'm about to sleep and always, without fail, she sits beside me. This, you understand, is despite the clear availability of at least 50 other empty seats in the same carriage. 

Perhaps she likes me, you might wonder. Wonder again.

When it started, I thought I was being intolerant which, readers of my blog will know, I can be prone to.  Being continuously bumped by pointy elbows and kicked by flailing feet by the person next to you is part of the deal you sign up to when you buy an Oyster Card and use the tube. But when it's consistently throughout your long overground journey it becomes a little aggravating, particularly when, over the months there have been coffee spills without apology and smirks when particularly sharp jabs have come my way.

I know what you are thinking, either get on with it or switch seats away from the pointy jabby woman.  Tried that. This overbearing woman seeks me out. I have tried almost every seat in the carriage but she always finds me and it's only a matter of seconds once she's sat down that my torment begins, and continues all the way to  London.

You see, I like sitting beside the radiator which also happens to be a window seat and inevitably leaves the seat next to me vacant - as it does many other passengers - until her stop when several people get on, always her first, no doubt so she can corner me quickly.

I tried muttering quietly 'oh no' when she came towards me but it made no difference. In my paranoid state I wondered whether she knows I'm the author of 'The Little Book of Tube Etiquette' and is teaching me a lesson, or perhaps, helpfully giving me more blog fodder (success if so).  Perhaps she is merely jealous of my ability to sleep anywhere and likes to ensure I remain awake.

I fear she just enjoys persecuting me. Either way it's unacceptable behaviour to ruin my snooze.

So I've taken evasive action. This morning, I remained fully alert as the train rolled into Plumpton station. I clocked her at the platform, eyeing up my seat with glee, elbows at the ready.  As she got on the train I jumped up and switched seats at the last minute. Unfortunately I didn't manage to get my coveted radiator seat in the switch but small mercies and all that.

Hopefully I've made my point to her. But, if not, I will keep trying this technique and others until I get both a radiator seat and a stalker-free journey to work.

Because when you live as far outside of London as I do, you need to grab all the extra zzzzz's you can...