overground trains - every bit as bad as the tube

Saturday, on way to London to celebrate my best friend's 30th birthday. It's early. We get the last two seats on the train. Our carriage is full of weird and wonderful people. Apart from the child opposite me and his  guardian.

This kid would be cute if it weren't for his Nintendo game. Said kid is playing said Nintendo game with the sound turned on full volume. 10 minutes in, he switches to Tetris.

First of all I didn't know Tetris still existed. Second of all, even when I used to play Tetris on my gameboy when I was all of 12, the music even irritated me.

15 minutes in I can't prevent myself from putting my fingers rather obviously in my ears.

20 minutes in I can't resist staring at the kid's companion who appears oblivious to this rather hideous form of Japanese water torture.

25 minutes in and my husband is looking at me as if to say, don't say anything, please don't say anything - even if this is the most torturous thing we've ever encounted.

30 minutes in I'm shifting in my seat and staring every minute. I resort to biting my nails.

35 minutes in and the kid leaves his game running while performing very amateur gymnastics in between our seats.

40 minutes in and my waiting game is up. I say. very politely of  course, 'excuse me' to his companion who stares at me blankly. 'Does that contraption have a volume button?' She turns the volume off.

Bliss. She then says to me 'it drives me mad as well'.

This beggars belief. If it bothers her that  much why did she not save our ears 40 minutes earlier?

Nevertheless, for the rest of the 25 minute journey I have peace and quiet, sort of.

When we arrive in London, we take a cab to our destination. I was so not ready to face the tube with the quasi-classical ringing of Tetris still in my ears.

I feel another book coming on...

My first blog since honey moon and unfortunately it’s an apology.

I must apologise to fellow tube users for my antics on Tuesday evening. Following a few drinks after work, I was feeling a little light headed and got the Central Line tube home to where I was staying. 

Halfway home, I managed to get a seat, but for some reason I got a fit of hiccups. To those that know me, my hiccups are not normal – I actually say the word ‘hiccup’, loudly. So the tube carriage was filled with my rather loud ‘hiccup’ noises for at least 15 minutes.

What’s worse, and again I apologise, is that in my slightly inebriated and embarrassed state I was overcome with the need to giggle.

So to all those poor passengers trying to read or have a quiet journey home, I was the lady in a navy suit hiccupping loudly and then uncontrollably laughing for most of your travels.  Hopefully some of you found it funny.  For those that didn’t, my etiquette is clearly in need of a brush up following a month of lying on a beach with my tube stresses clearly nowhere to be found.

I’m sure that by the time you read this, I’ll be fully indoctrinated back into my own Tube Etiquette ways – and hopefully not still drunk.